Solar-powered Tiny Home Neighborhoods

In 2017 I ended up sleeping in my car. I’m a problem solver and, although my job with the Santa photography kiosk in the mall had ended.

After the Santa photography gig I came up with a plan to solve homelessness not just for me, but for the world.

If you go here: and donate, these neighborhoods will be one step closer to a reality.

A Knew Adventure

Hey readers. Hahaha I’d have to be so pompous to even imagine anyone reads this with any regularity. Like, “Oh, he’s posted on his blog again! Must read NOW!” I’m realistic. I know I have a teeny reach but nothing to the point of “subscribers” or “fans”.

Anyway enough self-deprication. What I’m really here to write about is my upcoming journey and its implications, and the reason I write.

Firstly, my upcoming journey. Are you ready? Los Angeles, look out, cause I’m coming baaaack!!! Would L.A. be fine without me? Sure, but the world is falling apart and I’d love to be where I love when it all goes down. I mean, “it” is currently going down, but you know. In case things get REALLY bad in November I’d love to be near many friends I miss and love. But my main reason for moving back (besides the incredible weather) is the work I’ve convinced myself to pursue. CREATIVE WORK.

“But Doug” you say, “aren’t you homeless?”

Yeah, so fucking what? Lots of people were homeless before they hit. Before they “popped”. Well guess what, this gestating pimple is ripe & ready to pop!

I’ll need to find work. Which, Spotify (if you’re reading this), I’ve tried and tried to apply to your job openings and your website must be broken or your third party whatever you use. So, here:

My podcast You And Me And Thoughts And Talk with Doug Culp is up to 343 consecutive episodes. I’ve even rrleased while honeless, coded my own website, and I’ve had on many guests who have Netflix specials, HBO specials, and who have TV shows on the air right now (Baron Vaughn, Melissa Villaseñor, Kate Flannery, Adam Lustick, Jackie Kashian, and many more!) I’m my own sound engineer, host, and producer.
I’m 16 episodes into my second podcast Star Trek Enterpods (a Star Trek Enterprise watch-a-long podcast with me and my dad).
I’m 3 episodes into my 3rd podcast I Am Doug Rich (a watch-a-long podcast for the FX series The Riches).
I’m 3 episodes into my 4th podcast My Ideas (usually shorter eps about my ideas on a certain topic).

I’m overqualified for this position, ehich is why you should hire me for it.
Full disclosure, I’m moving back to L.A. from Utah where I’ve been toiling since last September (it’s a pretty short story but I can tell you that later).

Anyway I look forward to working for you. Your platform seems to have a great rhythm going.



Now that that’s out of the way (oh yeah Earwolf, SIR, Headgum, Stitcher, if you see this, consider me available to work for you as well).

Now, now that that’s out of the way, I wanna talk about why I write.

I’ve always enjoyed a great story. Though I, myself, hardly ever read any books (this is true, I’ve read a handful and very occasionally will find another one I like but I find I usually read kinda slowly and tend to fall asleep to whatever I’m reading, or I get bored and move onto a different activity) I’ve loved writing for as long as I can remember. From writing songs in high school to get out of singing any of the “okayed” songs in high school choir, to sometimes writing my crazy dreams down, to how much I’ve journaled, to the 40+ songs I’ve written, to the 13 original scripts I’ve written, to this very blog!

I’ve cooked up a fun post-pandemic movie starring Jemaine Clement or possibly Taika, perhaps Rhys, Bret…anyway I don’t know if they’d work with me but it should be funny and dark. I’ve already started writing it.

I have been writing my autobiography, and it’s called LDFS: Growing Up Mormon, Discovering Weed At 30, And Then Getting Lyme Disease. Sometimes I go back into it and go “Whoa, I forgot I wrote that!” or “Yep, perfectly worded.”

I’ve started two other books “The Great American Novelist” and “Ex”.

One of the scripts I mentioned (see above) is this sci-fi show that takes place far in the future, and global warming has increased to “MURDERED by the sun”, so the government has decided to give away a synthetic skin which will allow people to go out into the sun again without any harmful effects. I’ve got a Mulder & Scully team, a daughter character who longs to bathe in the sunlight, and a government conspiracy.


INT.     HOUSE  –  DAY
PSYCH I’m not printing any of the script here, but HBO, FX, AMC, TNT hit me up.

Anyway I live in a van and I’m embarking on a journey back to L.A. to continue to tell stories. I’ll be telling my story, cause this homelessness isn’t the end for me.

I plan on running a 5-fold business that is going to knock your prospective genitals (or lack thereof) off!!

I also still have that plan to end all homelessness.

Gonna start my gofundme back up again but, until then, if you’re able to donate to my homeless ass, I’d very much appreciate it.
Venmo: Doug-Culp
CashApp: $DougsNugs

P.S. Please share this. Tweet it, RT it, post it on facebook, twitter, IG, tumblr, StumbleUpon, FourSquare, AskJeeves, myspace, geocities, etc.
P.P.S. If you’d rather pay for some art and just have that instead of a straight up donation, I’ve got original music:
I’ve got original art for sale printed on almost anything here:


Hi everyone, I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged, but how could I not with all the insanity happening all at once to the entire world…(that was a run-on sentence with a statement and THEN a question??)

This is a conspiracy theory, which hopefully can be proven:

This pandemic was planned. Allow me to explain.

Trump disbanded the pandemic task force around the time when he was also meeting with a few different dictators. Dictators, who willingly kill their people. Remember how Trump would say these dictators weren’t so bad? Well, it’s bad. They’re bad. And now we’re all dying.

This pandemic could have easily been planned. What better way to unite a nation than to create a common, nebulous enemy?? “We can’t be mad at the President, he didn’t RELEASE the #coronavirus into the air somehow…right??? But if HE didn’t, then maybe Xi Jin Ping DID. Maybe it was willfully started in China BY THEIR LEADER because it has a high transmission rate and China has a dense population. Also tourists visit China all the time, as we’ve seen with so many people catching #COVID19.

The only other option is that the earth literally started fighting back against all the polution we’ve been producing/perpetrating.

Humans: What if we reduce/reuse/recycle?

Earth: Hey babyy…wanna kill all humans???

Either way, there’s no change I could affect from here in my room, dreaming about you and me…

#Plannedemic (maybe the best portmanteau)


Anyway to any and all who want to drown their sorrows in some merch, I have art and my fast food job is going to keep making us come in.

Help me tell them I’ll be staying home!!!

My Own Personal Threadless shop

Really Glad You Came (my original music)

Also if you’d simply like to help, here are some app links:

Venmo: Doug-Culp

CashApp: $DougsNugs

PayPal: Dougathan

Existential Bread

Boredom brings me here. I hope it finds you well. Well-off, well water, oh well whatever.

Our technology has brought us to an interesting point in our evolution. We’re more aware of more than we’ve ever been aware. Our computer phones (a la Bradley Whitford in The Good Guys) are compelling our lives forward.

We are more connected than ever but also more entitled and bridled than ever.

Think about the last time your phone died. Were you bummed? Were you elated? Were you a check, post-dated? What’s a check? What’s a balance? We’re more checked than Jack Palance.

The Impossible™ Whopper is great, global warming’s thru the grate, the world is full of hate, and nobody wants to wait.

Okay, so why am I even writing this stumbly bumbly post? I dunno, to pass the time, to express myself in rhyme, to hope anyone sees this and thinks it’s fine.

I’m still here. I’m still creating, even though this burger job is grating my will to push forward.

I’m polyamorous aka non-monogamous, which is pretty awesome. There’s no sense of jealousy, just love, and I haven’t been with a ton of people either. Just kinda floating above. Doesn’t help that I’m sick and poor and living with my parents. Lots of adults are living with their parents these days. Now that I’ve lived in a state where there’s legal weed, delivered legal weed, and smoked/consumed a ton of legal weed, every place that still doesn’t get it seems very small-minded. Like the governments have tiny baby brains, indoctrinated by previous government leaders who started “the drug war” for self-righteous reasons. Well the world has kept spinning and it’s been many seasons. If cannabis isn’t federally legalized/decriminalized soon these conservative states will be fill with reprobates. (I hope some of you had to look up “reprobates” like I just did to be sure I was using it correctly)

I wanna watch The Mandalorian. I once briefly dated a hot librarian. I don’t resist to be contrarian, but I do Dew it to cause it’s how I’ve felt for a very long time. Resist the Borg telling you exactly everything you need to do. Resist the urge to go see every single movie that comes out and to subscribe to every streaming service, only to throw your money into that pit, not knowing if what your doing is legit. Will you ever see all of it? Get the free trial and then cancel that shit.

Oh yeah, capitalism is still crumbling. It’s slowing to a crawl. People have less and less “extra” money to spend, hoping all our fears will upend.

I wanna try and be self-sustaining, meaning a tiny home mobile studio (like from with solar panels on the roof, driving it around, parking wherever people will let me, public lands, stay aloof. But also staying alive, hoping to thrive.

While I was staying with my uncle I had a dream which I then wrote into a TV pilot in a day. No one cares…yet.

Part of this post is to show you the most of what I’ve been able to do with a little view, to eschew from the queue. Wouldn’t you?

I’ve got a restaurant idea which is so crazy that it certainly will work.

Ive got those pilots I’ve written, lyrics I’ve spitten, relationships smitten, teeth I have gritten, Connie Britton.

I hope I get booked on some comedy shows. Utah has a monolith controlling their few venues and it’s weird. It’s like if The Comedy Store was the only venue ever in L.A. for comedy. It’s a fun place, but it doesn’t need to be the only place.

Oh yeah that reminds me, the owners of this burger joint have an open invitation for employees to throw events on days they’re closed, and one of those happens weekly here. I’ve just gotta get my ass in heat and bring Duplex Comedy Suplex back to life, maybe in this dining area.

Okay this has gotten long. Mr. Robot is dope. The Good Place still knockin’, The Mountain Goats still rockin’, Adidas Sambas still sockin’.


Hire me to:

Write. Comede. Film. Edit. Draw. Music. Social media. Eat. Toke. Repeat. Joke.

You And Me And Thoughts And Talk with Doug Culp (my podcast)

Really Glad You Came (my music)

My threadless store (some of my art)


Buy My Art

Hey, me again.

Looks like I’m getting kicked out of this place. Room with no door. Never any true privacy so I have to jerk off in the bathroom.

If you watch or play video games with me at Dougathan on Twitch and watch me make my art, I could make money to support myself.

I’ve been working a lot on my MERCH made up of words spelled out with my #FaceItFont at my threadless store here: Shirts! Pillows! Shower Curtains! Clutches! Phone Cases! Towels! Drawstring Bags! Hoodies!

My podcast is still going strong. 286 episodes of You And Me And Thoughts And Talk with Doug Culp. I’ve had many amazing guests, some fun solo eps, and some not so fun solo eps. I’ve released it on my own, no studio, no producer, no ads, for free every week…even when I was homeless and sleeping in my car!

I’ve sold weed. That’s been some of the happiest work moments I’ve had. Doug’s Nugs on IG & twitter

If you wanna just help out you can donate to my Venmo: Doug-Culp or CashApp: $DougsNugs or PayPal or buy from my threadless store or watch/donate on my Twitch channel.

Who wants to help me get a solar-powered tiny home together for prob around $8k? I could tow it with my car, and if it has recycled water I’ll be able to shower in the tiny home too! The 8k would cover a LongFi wireless router that works off the blockchain and gives you internet wherever you are.

I still have my plans to #EndAllHomelessness. Let’s fuckin’ do that shit too!

I have enough entertainment ideas to get me through the next decade.

Help me keep going, and it’ll help me maybe get sponsors for my podcast! What if 7-Eleven sponsored my pod and any time anyone came in and said promo code: YAMATAT they’d get a FREE BIG GULP???

Tweet at 7-Eleven and maybe they will. It’d not only drum up attention.

Please, please, please put me on your #podcast / comedy show. If you wanna help, get me up there. If not, that’s also fine. It would certainly help me shut the fuck up about money woes though, cause I’d probably get booked for more gigs.

I’m happy to have hosted a stand-up show out of my living room for 2 years. The show was called Duplex Comedy Suplex and I had people on from Baron Vaughn to Jackie Kashian, to Sovereign Syre, to Jonah Ray, Brodie Reed, David Gborie, Jak Knight, Kelly McInerny, Harry Moroz, Byron Bowers, Barbara Gray, Allen Strickland Williams, Brandon Wardell, Jamie Loftus, James Fritz, Adam Allgood, Josh Michaels, Joe DeRosa, Julian McCullough, Jason Saenz, Greg Kashmanian, Danny Lobell, Sam Wiles, Andrew Michaan, and many more!!!

There’s a chance I could bring it back.

I have a talk show idea, and it’s got a name, and it’d be LIVE, and prob a little chaotic, but I’d have my piano onstage and maybe my records to do a thing I’ve done on some solo eps where I talk about a band I love and my relation to them and the record itself. You And Me And Thoughts And Talk Show with Doug Culp aka YAMATATS.

I’m available to work for stand-up, improv, podcasts (producing/hosting/guesting), graphic design, murals, other art, music (piano/guitar/songwriting), gaming (I’m pretty good at Rocket League, I love Portal, Cuphead, Fallout 3, and MORE), weed jobs, threadless, etc!

Please hire me. Please donate.

Oh yeah and my doctor isn’t returning my calls. Still dying of Lyme Disease.



Cries For Help

Fuck my life. Fuck me. Fuck everything. Strong start right?

Anyway that’s how I’m feeling right now. I can’t afford to live and pay my bills.

As a substitute I keep asking people to hire me for creative work, to no avail. I’m on the apps, I EVEN apply thru LinkedIn!

I am a comedian. I am a writer. I am a musician. I am a podcaster. I am excited to entertain the world.

I directed my stand-up special “Doug Culp is Living In The Lymelight”, and it’s like 40 min.

I’ve sent the link to a few people now, and haven’t heard back.

If I get that album on a label I could get promotion and maybe money.

MAYBE MONEY. For a stand-up special that’s taken me about 10 yrs to get together.

MAYBE MONEY for getting on podcasts to promote myself.

MAYBE MONEY for shit that I thought already would be going right now and cannot talk about cause LEGAL reasons.

Anyway lagging and dragging from not being able to talk about the thing I’m not allowed to talk about has been DIGGING this HUGE MONEY HOLE in my life, where there was already a giant money hole.

BOOK ME on your comedy shows

BOOK ME on your podcasts

BOOK ME if you think I’m even REMOTELY funny.

Please book me if I’ve booked you. Please help.



Venmo: Doug-Culp

CashApp: $DougsNugs


A Call To Curing Lyme Disease

Hey it’s me again! The sick guy who can’t stop talking about it! It’s like it’s always with me and affecting my every living moment! I am losing my mind half the time. Sometimes it hurts to play piano, guitar, video games, and too much typing will exhaust my frail muscles.

I’m 35 but I feel like I’m 86 (prob lots of 86 year-olds who have better bods than I). The Lyme Disease is feasting on my muscles, attacking autonomic functions.

I know there’s medicine to flush out the bacteria, but then it can come back later.

I know the medicine is expensive as fuck. Gamma Globulin is what I’ve had a few treatments of, but still I’m weak. I haven’t had enough medicine consistently enough.

I had an idea. Ya know nanobots? They Might Be Giants #TMBG had an album called that and also we’ve all seen Minority Report and what I’m suggesting is all the scientists, doctors, engineers, etc, get together and create nanobots which are swallowed.

The nanobots will awaken or power on and they’ll eradicate the bacteria that have been feeding on my insides.

Once the last bacteria is murdered and my body can begin its healing process, the nanobots head to my bladder and I’ll happily piss them all out, free of Lyme Disease.

So, what do you say, wanna help me cure Lyme Disease? Hell maybe these nanobots could…

…just did a little googling. I’m not the only one who’s been at this.

Can Nanobots Cure Lyme Disease?

So yeah if anyone out there knows Elon Musk or Richard Branson or maybe the band Hanson or Ted Danson maybe we could get some eyes on this?

Cure Lyme Disease on 3.

1, 2, 3!

Oh now that you’ve all shouted it out loud at your computer screens or phones, I have been playing video games for my whole life. I love to play, and I love to stream me playing on Twitch, I also have never made any money doing it.

Enter Lyme Disease. I want to do a week-long stream, only taking bathroom breaks and sleeping for…maybe…2 hour stretches at a time? but then back to gaming to raise money for Lyme Disease eradication.

This could pair nicely with the people out there whoms could help me get nanobots into my body to kick the Lyme Disease out.

PLEASE HELP if you can or reach out to someone who could help.

My whole body hurts. I am like a push-puppet. If I’m holding too much weight like say a human baby, or a bong for too long I have to rest or I will crumble to the ground.

It’s difficult to shit. It’s not easy to come. I make loud noises with my throat cause I’m forcing my muscles to pull any mucous up that would’ve been taken care of automatically if I didn’t have Lyme Disease as advanced as it has. I  have multiple spit containers cause I don’t wanna swallow all this phlegm. Can you blame me? Do YOU wanna swallow my phlegm?? I mean no judgement if you do that’s just not my cup o’ spit.

Lyme Disease fucking SUCKS! Let’s eradicate it.

Share + rate my podcast @yamatat 5 stars + + + + dougathan on IG/Twitter/Twitch follow my Twitch so you know when I go live to play and I’ll keep everyone updated on when I start the week-long play session. (Oh yeah HALF of the money I raise from the week-long session will go to eradicating Lyme Disease, and the other half will go to feeding me and paying my bills and helping me stay afloat in this insane world in which we all live).



Some Prespective

Hey, it’s me again (Doug Culp).

I wanna talk about death today. I know I’ve talked about the Lyme Disease and being ready for my own death before, but it’s a peace I’ve found.

I’m ready for my own death, whenever it happens. I hope to live decades past what I’ve already accomplished, and I’m happy for all the friends/family I’ve made/had along the way.

I wrote a new song and I can’t play it for you here, cause you’re reading, but maybe in person one of these days. I got my piano back! Been fun tickling the ivories again (not sure if these keys are actually ivory. Prob wood if I had to guess).

I’ve collected records, I’ve released a music album, I’ve recorded a stand-up album, booked/performed a tour on my own, smoked a bunch of weed and seen a bunch of bands. I haven’t seen NYC yet, that’d be dope.

I have many things I still wanna do: tour with my stand-up, tour with my podcast, tour with my music, tour with my art (I made a font it’s called Face It Font #FaceItFont), tour with my heart.

When I got Lyme I was like “Oh SHIT my time here is more limited than I’d previously thought!” but also being undiagnosed/dicked around by doctors for 2 years I reached the peace of being ready for my own death.

I’d wager LOTS of people aren’t ready. People don’t like to talk about it cause it’s uncomfortable. Well life is uncomfortable! Earning to burn, churn and then urn.

How many times have you checked your phone while reading this?

The entertainment infinite jest / Brain Candy / dystopia is already here. Apple is pulling those apps that help you reduce your screen time. Facebook owns ALL of our faces (minus a few who’ve made it out). Google knows where we are at all times. Military satellites hover above and can probably zoom in further than we’d like.

Big Brother has found more and more ways to keep watching. Okay google, Alexa, Siri, etc. (Bixby, is that still a thing)

I’m sitting on 11 scripts, ready to go ( a few might could use a re-look but mostly ready) and more movies and video games I wanna make. I wanna make more versions of the font I talked about earlier, Face It Font, remember?

I still have plans to end all homelessness. Some other innovators out there taking cracks at it. The need is there and the global conscience is waking up to it.

Big oil, fuck you. You are done. Big pharma, fuck you too. You are done (to be clear here, there are people who work to cure diseases who aren’t bad people. But the folks like Martin Schkrhellhi who are fucking it up for people who need medicine.

Solar, hydro, wind. This is easy. There are many examples online on how to start small. I plan on getting the Lightyear car that’s coming out later this year. I’m not gonna be able to get it this year, but one day. It’s completely solar powered and charges even when there’s cloud cover. (looking back at that for a second it looked like “chord cover” and well that’s a good song title maybe I’ll use it to write a new song!)

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, death. So, it’s okay to talk about. It’s okay to feel this way about it. Cause guess what? I don’t WANT to die (remember from before??) I still have so much I wanna do. I wanna be a late show host. I want my podcast to go till my dying day.

I want all my friends and family out there to know I love them very much.

See everyone at my next thing! Which reminds me, please book me. I’ll do podcasts, I’ll do stand-up shows, I’ll do sketch shows, I’ll do improv, I’ll play music, I’ll make art, I’ll wash your car, I’ll clean your glasses, I’ll wipe your asses (okay but not really that was for the rhyme I have Lyme ALL the time).

Venmo: @Doug-Culp     (if you think what I wrote here is worth anything, I’ll gladly take anything, ooo also #WGAStaffingBoost !)

For the rest of my life

Hey, the world is ending, polar vortex and crazy weather, many assholes in the white house, and many more people trying to keep everyone entertained in the meantime.

I don’t know how much longer I’ve got. Few people do. I know that for the rest of my life, I seek/hope to entertain, smoke every strain, relieve every pain, toss those rhymes right down the drain. Let me explain.

I’m not sure how active the site still is, or if it’s just the shoddy wifi that won’t allow me to stay connected, but I’ve been pretty dedicated to Meet & Greet.

Whenever I earn (hardly ever) a portion is required to go to charity. I think this is my own personal patreon/kickstarter drip/Stitcher Premium.

I’d love to LIVE for everyone every day, but I don’t set a schedule for when I broadcast so you’ll have to be following me and actually want to see the chats and maybe even call in. Oh yeah, there’s a call-in function and it’s free till I decide it’s not anymore (currently have the FREE CALLS set up for 3 and then it charges people, but the most calls I’ve gotten in one session was ONE!).

I just caught up on The Good Place. That show is awesome! And there’s a The Good Place The Podcast with some fun and insightful moments!

Where was I? The world is ending and we’re seeing the United States of America be slowly turned into a weird pre-Russia. Can’t trust every news source. Going to late night television for stories of what’s going on in the world. And if not that, TWITTER and FACEBOOK!

Stay safe everyone in the polar vortex and in inclement weather! I’m currently fortunate enough to have a roof over my head while the rain pounds down outside.

They know me at Taco Bell. They knew me at Rally’s (in Glendale, RIP).

Gonna take a second to talk about Rally’s. If your town has one, then you have the best fries in the world (some regions it’s Checker’s). They have great dollar menu mix n’ match, their spicy chicken is fucking great, and their shakes are good too. I usually go with a mix of strawberry/banana and it is sugary and delicious! Their commercials were great. Usually someone pulling off some street skate tricks with an easy rap in the background. “Ya gotta eat! What are you doin?…”

I found this cereal called Shreds. It’s basically Shredded Wheat “BLASTED” with flavor. There’s a Cinnamon Toast Crunch one, which looks awesome!) and the one I got from the dollar store is Peanut Butter Chocolate (not specific to any cereal, just says peanut butter chocolate). Its’ REALLY good, and I bet it’s awesome with milk! I can’t really dedicate any more mini-fridge space to something like milk. It would also involve having to find a water solution to wash my bowl and spoon, and I don’t have plumbing.

No shit…when you need to shit…a toilet’s legit.

I have a shitload of shows I wanna make, movies I wanna make, fonts I wanna make, video games I wanna make, music I wanna make, podcasts I wanna make, pot shops I wanna make, ending homelessness I wanna make.

Help me make it all.

Venmo: Doug-Culp

I mean I guess, in a way, this site (my blog) is also my patreon/kickstarter drip/stitcher premium, cause I don’t have to scratch off to mama & papa website. Cause I made my own and also the meet & greet thing!

Also Twitch, follow me there (and you can tip too!). I usually play video games and either destroy, die, or somewhere in between!

Face It Font


Pics & Vids

Book me to do more stand-up!

Don’t Forget To Bring A Towel



P.S. Venmo: Doug-Culp

P.P.S. How long am I gonna entertain? For the rest of my life.

P.P.P.S. My #podcast #YAMATAT aka #YouAndMeAndThoughtsAndTalkwithDougCulp aka is at episode 265. Listen, rate 5 stars, review & chill?

Back From The Open Road

The last couple days have been an adjustment. I’m back from my first ever stand-up tour in 10 years of doing it. I called it

Duplex Comedy Suplex: The Lyme Disease Awareness Tour.

It was awesome! I went to Bend, OR, where I was met with open arms and an extra show tacked on! I also got put onto a show in Eugene where someone bailed and they no longer had a headliner. I did 1 HOUR that night in Eugene. I feel like I could do it thousands of times more.

Bend was dope! I filmed something when I did a weekend at 2nd Street Theatre, and I’m gonna edit it together into my first special:

Living in the Lymelight.

I slept in my car again last night and, right now, I’m just content to be indoors sitting in a chair at a table. A small sense of normalcy in an otherwise tumultuous environment. Last night I had to shit, so I went to this gas station that was near where I parked. Waiting for someone in the bathroom, I was next in line. The gas station attendant knocks on the door to see what’s been taking so long. A woman emerges, draped in what could be described as a shower curtain makeshift toga. She has messed the bathroom. There’s not shit all over, but there’s dirty water everywhere. The prominent theory is that she was showering herself in the bathroom. There was this black liquid in the sink. Nobody knew what it was.

I still had to shit, so I waited, patiently. Grateful. Grateful that if you’re polite and nice, and maybe don’t have a home right now, sometimes people will let you shit in their toilet.

It’s a big reason I’m here at this cafe. I had a cup of soup, Gonna see if I have to use the facilities in a moment.

So yeah, I did an hour in Eugene, OR. I’m trying to get onto shows cause I just paid my SELF-STORAGE payment and I’m back down to about $20 total. Think of the Venmo ask as my own personal Patreon page. It’ll keep me going, so I can keep making the things I love, and putting them out there.

Rewards I might be able to purchase if enough is donated (OR if I’m given work):

A laptop newer than 2006! Gas! Food! RENT?!?! If enough people believe in me, maybe I’ll get and keep getting work.

No work lined up.

Just stand-up.

And writing.

And acting.

Hire me.



You And Me And Thoughts And Talk with Doug Culp

Really Glad You Came (a music page)

My DeviantArt Page