A True Werewolf Transformation

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A true cryptophile will tell you that a werewolf stands on two legs, has the form of a man, but features of a wolf.

This popular tradition has been honored for years and years. One day, someone decided that werewolves don’t stand on two legs, nor do they have anything close to human form. Now, the reigning belief is that a werewolf is a human who turns into a wolf.

This is not only boring, it’s also nonthreatening. Does a wolf have superhuman strength? No. Can a wolf open, or punch through, a door? No. A wolf, is a wolf.

On True Blood, there are “Werewolves” and there are also “Shifters.” A “Shifter” is a human who has the ability to turn into any animal, sometimes even another human. A shifter, in theory, could turn into a dog, a mouse, or *gasp* a wolf! The “Werewolves” on True Blood are humans, who turn into wolves. If a “Shifter” turned into a lion, and then fought a “Werewolf” in the world of True Blood, the lion is going to win. If a “Shifter” turned into a lion, and then was going after a bipedal werewolf with superhuman strength, there’s going to a an awesome fight.

Anytime someone mentions a “Werewolf” in the vein of True Blood, Twilight, or Hemlock Grove, a fire within me burns as I think of the lost potential of the awesomeness of these characters. A wolf can be kicked in the face. A werewolf will slash your face off, while you go up to kick it.

Being Human (US Version) has done an amazing job with its werewolves, in that they’re bipedal and ferocious as Hell. They transform once a month as their curse dictates. When they do…get out of the way. Lock yourself in a bunker that’s under the ground of another underground bunker, cause someone’s gonna die. Is it possible the werewolf only scratches you slightly and you also become a werewolf yourself? Yes. Does anyone want to live with the curse of turning into a werewolf and possibly killing those you know and love once a month? Nope. No thank you. It’s a curse for a reason. They’re doing it very well on Being Human (Is this a biased opinion because that show is really well done and I wrote a spec for what I would want to happen for S04E01? Perhaps).

This has been plaguing me for a long time. I wish that all of the “Werewolves” (who are actually just humans turned into wolves) could retroactively be made into the intimidating and awesome werewolves that we’ve all grown to know and love (and fear). Let’s wipe the slate clean, put all of the wolves into a kennel (and then put them down) and start fresh! Werewolves who don’t have human form…that would be like having vampires whose skin glistens in the sun, who don’t have sharp fangs, and who feed on animals instead of on people. That would be ridiculous! (By the way, if anyone thinks I don’t know about Twilight, I know of it a little. I was forced into seeing Breaking Dawn Part 1 with my ex. I’m talking about the lame vampires from Twilight of course).

In summation, and conclusion, and lastly…don’t, do, wolves. Do werewolves. Make them stand on two legs unless, of course, they’re chasing you. That’s when they get on all fours to reek havoc on your feeble, fleshy bodies. If a wolf is chasing you, put it in a cage. If a werewolf is chasing you, hide in an undisclosed location and don’t tell anyone where you are. That thing will find you.

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