Day 86

Probably 86. I’ve lost real count at this point but I’ve been homeless since Nov, 2017.

Saw someone THREADING on about #ReadyPlayerOne and how BOYS ARE BROKEN, and nostalgia isn’t helping.

I agree that “boys are broken” aka there are still WAY TOO MANY macho fucks. If you are “worried about someone stealin’ your girl/guy” you probably subscribe to monogamy and that is understandable.

Ready Player One is a beautiful expression of one man’s love for the video games/movies/music/TV throughout his childhood  A love-letter, if you will, to happier memories.

The book was written around 2012, and I promptly bought myself a copy. Well, it was mine and my ex-wife’s ,but still excited to read.

We got a divorce, she took the book, so I was left bookless. (I have a few books  but that one’s up there with my favorites)

I ended up reading it about a year later  discovering the in-set  unannounced contest within the book ABOUT A CONTEST!! I found clues which led me to the first key, started the second game and was not prepared for this text-based adventure so I temporarily conceded. I’ll go back to Anorak.

I paused my reading when it got to a part with some heavy War Games references, cause I hadn’t seen it yet. Watched it. Continued reading.

I cried while reading this book. Tears of joy. Tears of hope. Tears of familiarity and love. I fucking love this book, and no one can take that away from me; not a negative review on twitter, not a troll, nothing will deter me from how I feel about what I’ve felt.

Upon reading someone’s op-ed on “TOXIC MASCULINITY DIRECTLY RELATED TO ENTERTAINMENT AND NOSTALGIA” I was sickened. The fact that this human either: read the book and didn’t understand it, saw it, themselves, thru a masculine lens, or saw a PREVIEW FOR THE MOVIE and was turned off by it, is grotesque.

ENTERTAINMENT is not the cause of toxic masculinity  though it’s chock full of it. Our own respective minds are what lead us to “macho men.”

If you read the book, you’d know that this high school senior LOVES video games. Studies them. Seeks out rarities. He digitally meets someone in the OASIS but is more focused on the task at hand: finding that EGG!

At one point he strays from the hunt to pursue her a little. It goes nowhere and he focuses back up to the original challenge.

That’s it, without giving any more away. There’s your “hyper-masculine nostalgia-driven enemy.” A high school kid.

It’s worth it to note that in the book the kid is described as “chunky” and “husky”, more insecurities driving him to just play video games. In the movie the kid is RAIL THIN and thus probably not that relatable to gamers. I gotta have a talk with Spielberg or Cline about that decision.

I digress. I think the MAIN purpose of the twitter-user,  who sparked this blog post, was to say that hyper-masculinity is rampant and it’s the old way, and it’s not the 1950’s anymore! Times will NEVER be like they were before, again, and that’s progress!

Macho men are a poison to this world and should all be muted.

I mentioned monogamy earlier. It’s cute really. “You’re alllllllll miiiiiine…foreverrrrrr”. Cool. Polyamory is infinitesimally more interesting to me, in that, I’m pretty sure I’m polyamorous and just didn’t know for the longest time.

A few yrs ago I got Lyme Disease. I didn’t know it at the time, and wouldn’t know for TWO YEARS. These two years were me, going to the doctor, him (a hyper-masculine ,or HM) who kept giving me a CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH ending our visits with “You’re so young! You’re fine. Go home and rest.” Gaslighting motherfucker might be the reason I’m currently feeble af, was physically unable to take on work that I wasn’t sure I could do, and ending up with. E sleeping in the back of my car. Every night I curl up in the back seat, knowing that that quack of a doctor HAD NEVER SEEN LYME DISEASE so he was IGNORANT AND HEADSTRONG, and for that I wish he would trip down a flight if stairs and land on his eyes blinding him, so he can NEVER misdiagnose again.

In the 2 yrs it took to get my proper diagnosis, I came to terms with my own death. If I die tomorrow, I just hope it’s after I post my podcast…but, ultimately, I’ve had a good run.

I’m mostly ignored in the comedy community, because…of my cane? My enthusiasm for life? Wait…its cause I DON’T perform every night and therefore am not able to hone my craft. Reason I don’t perform every night is cause, finding a parking spot for the night means finding a resting place for the night.

I double-digress. Monogamy seems silly to me. Polyamory makes sense, and could possibly save the world from multiple wars.

If you’re not familiar with polyamory, it basically ally means that we can go out, but if you wanna sleep with other people…awesome! If I also want to…awesome! The writer of Wonder Woman was polyamorous and they raised children together.

Happiness is possible for all of us. We just need to find it. Hopefully we are looking within ourselves to really know what we’ll need to make us happy.

I’m writing a book about my life. I’ve written 10 TV scripts and I’m working on more. I’m writing movies and music, making art and video games, loving my life. I’m also rationing leftover pizza so I’ll have food to eat in the next few days cause my bank acct is, once again, at a dollar and change.

Ive been asking for help via Venmo: @Doug-Culp, to get to the next day.

My podcast #YAMATAT aka #YouAndMeAndThoughtsAndTalkwithDougCulp is up to 217 episodes. Been releasing every week, while homeless.

I have a plan to end all homelessness in the world.

I want to make board games and entertain till I die.

Does anyone think I’m funny or interesting enough to entertain you? If you’ve read this far, I hope so.

Have me on your podcast. Introduce me to a manager or agent (writing/acting/stand-up/art/music/livestreaming). Take me out for a meal, invite me to stay over and be able to stretch all the way out as I drift off to a peaceful sleep. Let’s talk about homelessness and ending it. Let’s talk about feelings. Let’s talk about anything  but please reach out.

Gonna record my podcast now, possibly play some games with a few remaining tokens I have. Rationing those too.

I love you all.

Thanks for reading.



Venmo: @Doug-Culp

@dougathan / @yamatat / @DougsNugs / @DuplexComedy / @DrDougSurgery

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