Ready Player One

Have you read it? If you haven’t read it, stop reading this till you read the book, cause this is for Gunters only.

Okay, are they gone? Good.

So, indentured servants to IOI, or sux0rz as they’re more commonly known, celebrated when Parzival won in the movie. It showed some girl kiss some guy, and that happened for no apparent reason.

The movie was good. The book was GREAT.

The movie missed A BUNCH of details, which would’ve been dope af to see on-screen. The first gate was a RACE?? And we go into the movie with them just already trying and trying to get there?? Sux0rz did not know about the first key till Wade got there, passed it, and then Art3mis passed it. In the book they played Joust against a Lich King, all undead and bones.

Joust is NOT  a big car race, so I don’t know WTF happened there.

Ludus is where all the kids went to school, Wade and Art3mis, Aech & I-r0k among them, and there was an important scene in the book which gave credence to I-r0k being a villain. It was left out of the film.

The archives looked awesome! Nobody played Robotron: 2084, not even a little.

RUSH, one of the greatest bands of all time, had a big, fun story point in the book. It was disappeared from existence in the film.

Ultraman was changed to a Gundam mech, the quarter was gained on a whim, and we saw Art3mis’ face NEAR THE BEGINNING of the film.

In the book we don’t see what she actually looks like till the end. It showed that love knows no bounds, and can be cultivated & real online. Meeting in person, though imo, is essential.

In the book Ernest Cline makes it evident that Wade Watts is “chunky” or “stocky” with acne, and is only able to escape the real world as his cooler-looking avatar, who’s svelte and has no acne. Tye Sheridan played young Cyclops. He was already a hero in some people’s eyes  so the suspension of disbelief wasn’t a far reach at all.

Art3mis’ character, in the book, is described as “rubenesque” like a pin-up model. Awesome! She was played by Olivia Cook, who is hot af. When the two “finally” meet in the film, she has a birthmark on her beautiful face. Tye goes “I’m not disappointed.” No shit cause it’s still the beginning of the movie and she’s “Hollywood’s standard” of hot af.

In the book there’s this hairpin turn when Wade uses a Taunt to get IOI to find and imprison him, to save the rest of his friends.

The movie made Art3mis made the sacrifice, instead, hurling her into different sneak-around scenarios, for exhibition I suppose.

At one point, in the book, the High Five are scooped up by Og and taken to his home, where he has multiple professional-grade consoles set up for everyone to play in a safe place, till the end of the contest.

The movie had them in Aech’s postal vehicle, hanging by the ceiling to play. As they did more car chase stuff, he’d get bumped around, physically moving his character in the OASIS, leading Anorak to say “Do you want it, or…” referring to the key he couldn’t reach.

The Distracted Globe was dope! Og shows up in the book and saves the day. The film brought in a Zemekis Cube, which turns back time.

Book has the jade key as this intricate challenge, using War Games as a litmus test. Movie was like “TAKE THE LEAP” and saved a character from floating zombies.

Crystal key was one of the coolest in the book. RUSH, a guitar, and skill brought the final key. Movie had it as a video game test.

A thing I would’ve LOVED to see was the key received, then them having to find the gate to each key. The gates didn’t just appear, the challenge is much deeper and more difficult than that.

I understand the time restraints of making a movie vs. writing a book, and so I’ve resolved to write my own Ready Player One screenplay. I’m going to stay as faithful to the book as possible, including my own diversions in dialogue.

Iron Giant emphasis was greatly exaggerated, no school, no arcade planet, no fat heroes. The movie fell short for me, which is another reason I feel a duty to present a screenplay that I would have loved to see.

A critic talks shit or praises and then repeats in their next shit-talk or praise-off.

A writer has the power to change things, and that’s what I’m going to do. I know it won’t change the movie having been released, it won’t change the minds of people who LOVED the movie. It will be an example of my dedication to the things I love, and that I actually do something when I put my mind to it.

All talk and no creative work makes critics lame af.

If you’re going to see a movie/read a book/appreciate art, do it for yourself. If you listen to critics your whole life, you’ll be on a ONE-WAY track to WALL-E. Some are already there. Hard to change the minds of someone whose mind has been made for them by “popular opinion.”

Think for yourselves. Don’t be sheep. Our lives are all we have. Let’s make ’em awesome, let’s support each other, and let’s really recognize that #CapitalismIsCrumbling and we need to save #NetNeutrality.

I overdrafted my bank acct by $40 cause I needed gas. Phone bill comes out in a couple days. It might default! Meaning I be out of communication with the world unless I have wifi, which I rarely have.

If you can help  pls donate to my Venmo: Doug-Culp

If you can’t help monetarily, check out my free podcast #YAMATAT aka #YouAndMeAndThoughtsAndTalkwithDougCulp, which just released episode 221 – Ready Player One, today!

Listen here:



P.S. I have a plan to #EndALLHomelessness. Let’s talk about that too.

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