Chronicles of “A Homeless” Pt. 2

As I sit in this chair for over an hour waiting on my nurse, who is late af (pre-posting: 2 hrs), to administer my Lyme Disease meds, I wonder a lot.

I wonder why my friend Joe wants my piano out of his place after he volunteered to house it “while you’re going through some stuff” aka while I’m homeless aka Roofless. My piano, is not his problem. My Lyme Disease guarantees I don’t have the strength to move it, and my homelessness guarantees I don’t have a place to store it.

Am I in the wrong, asking for some compassion here? He goes “my place is small, this is a “gigantic piano”. It’s not. It’s one of the smallest pianos in existence, actually. It’s SO small, that it breaks down into two pieces which each have cases and it can be neatly tucked off to the side. (His place is NOT small. Small is a relative term. To tell me your apt/condo/house is small, while I live in my CAR, is insensitive and uncaring. I think his gf is the cause of his stress, which sucks cause he’s a good guy, and she’s germaphobic.

Anyway, again, my piano is NOT his problem. My parents might be able to house it in their house/garage. They live in Utah. My car is now a piece of shit, I don’t have money to fix it, nor gas money to drive to Utah, otherwise I might get a truck, ask some movers to lift it into said truck, and truck it up over the weekend.

Anyone have a little time/gas/vehicle with which to help me out?

My podcast released episode 223 – Jesus Diaz, today. We had an awesome talk about life, weed, parallel universes, and Dark Souls 3. I didn’t know till that episode record that it dealt with parallel universes. What a fun-sounding game! We’re gonna play and record it, maybe do voices for some of the characters. OR on #ApplePodcasts OR on #Stitcher.

So my YAMAHA CP-70 piano is up in the air. Quick story of how I got this piano: I saw one on Craigslist years and years ago. It was $500 and I was married and did not have the money to get it. It was quickly snatched up, and I kept a bead on all the CP-70s I’d find for the next year. I’d gotten a piano free off Craigslist in like 2008, which I restored, tuned, and played. It shattered into a thousand pieces on a move from my old manager Patrick’s place to Facundo’s (Facundo had a pool in back!! This was also the move which led to Josh moving out with Tyler and I and the Nerd Trifecta was complete. Gary came too, but quickly realized he didn’t want to have roommates, so he moved into my ex-gf’s place in Irvine. That’s another blog post). 2nd free piano off Craigslist was heavy as hell and the YAMAHA CP-70 replaced it. I was able to fit this on in my room! I played, wrote songs, wrote a song about my divorce, and slept beneath it. Ex-wife took the bed and I was fine with that, as long as I had piano. Slept on the floor. Moved to L.A. with the piano, which also fit in THAT room in Ana’s place (another blog). I moved the piano to the duplex, where I hosted #DuplexComedySuplex for 2 yrs out of the living room (a free stand-up comedy show for which I made an entire font so that I could make the 2nd year poster…another blog post).

After a while of living in L.A., chasing the dream(s), it was evident that I would not be able to remain at the duplex, much less pay for it (another blog post). I needed a place for the piano to rest. My friend Joe, who’d been to Duplex Comedy Suplex a couple times, offered to help. It’s currently at his place and he wants it ~”the FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE”~ (paraphrasing of course). Anyway, I feel his frustration, almost to the poo y of violence, seeming as though he and his gf would hurl it onto the road as if to say “Not my fucking problem”. I was given a week to find a new place for it.

Please help.

If you can, Venmo: Doug-Culp some amount to try and help.

Any donations are very much appreciated, as I’m currently a burden on family and friends (emotional mostly, no one is supporting me through this fully. I’ve decided to live my life to try and end all homelessness in the world, while still writing shows/movies, recording podcasts, releasing all of my creative energies into the world while being feeble af from the Lyme Disease.

This is part of my story.

Please spread the word.

Hope you’re well. Please help me get my piano somewhere so I don’t drive off a cliff and end up in a proverbial hell.

Love ya buds. Thanks for reading.




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