Southwest Airlines, we need to TALK.

Hey Southwest, what’s up? Your planes? You need to explain yourself further…track the blade history. TRACK THE BLADE!

My family has flow with y’all for YEARS. What if one of us ends up the next in ROW 14??

Blumhouse Presents:

Row 14: The Journey Southwest.

I’ve gotta be honest I’m a little scared. If a plane can just break like that in mid-air, what is my pride worth if I’m dead?! Row 14 dead! (I’m truly sorry for whomever it was that died. Please know, sincerely, I’m mad at Southwest Airlines).

You’re going to have to lower the price of your flights, a lot. Shit you might have to start paying people to ride in planes as seat-fillers to try and promote company and “Southwest brand morale”. Cause you fucked up. Somewhere, someone allowed the plane to be in such condition, that it could just break apart in the sky; the place where a plane should typically be.

Lower your prices to $10/flight, to anywhere in the US, $15/international flight. It’ll be a fun experiment. In this time of distrust and “loyalty”, what if it was somehow Russia? Aren’t some Russian ex-spies roaming free in our country somewhere? Probably (and if you’re one of those spies, reading this, leave me alone).

Got a little off-track. *Ahem* Southwest Airlines. Lower your prices, cause I don’t want myself to turn into slices, of pizza, meat pie. You’ve made me more afraid to fly. So here’s mud in your eye.

Free sodas and snacks for every customer too. If I’m gonna end up on ROW 14, I at least wanna have a full belly when my head gets sucked out the window. I’m assuming that’s how the passenger died (again I am so sorry if you’re related to them in any way, family or friend).

Southwest Airlines: You’ll Die For These Prices.

40% angle for how long? You said “a few seconds” but I ha e to hear from someone who was on the flight. Any survivors of that flight who will do my podcast, follow me on Twitter @yamatat and we’ll talk. This is awful of Southwest, the NTSB, and I really hope this wasn’t terrorism of some kind.

I hope we can find trust in the skies again, as now I’m only wondering, “Is flying Southwest gonna end in my death? It might not be worth the risk!”

Southwest, hmu. Survivors, hmu. This needs to be fixed. Oh yeah, Southwest, I really hope you take full accountability on this. We can’t be dying IN PLANES.


Doug Culp

Venmo: Doug-Culp

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s