Consider Being Considerate

Firstly, hello. Thank you for even clicking on whichever link that brought you here.

Secondly, I saw Avengers: Infinity War earlier with my MoviePass. Holy fucking shit. See it. If you’re NOT into Marvel (as the server at the arcade told me) then that’s fine. I’ll be over here having fun with/in the MCU.

Thirdly, I ate at Rally’s, and the manager, Felipa, STILL could not BELIEVE that I had coupons sent to me from their corporate office. Her mind was BLOWN and then I finally showed her the envelop I have with “more where that came from” and her mind was still fucking blown. “I’ve never SEEN those coupons  I’ve only seen…” Cool. Well, I kept talking about how much I love Rally’s on twitter, they sent me some coupons cause they heard about my barely living institution aka being homeless aka Roofless.

FOURTHLY, being considerate on the road. *Ahem* Not long ago, I became homeless. Before this, Uber and Lyft were introduced. “Drive YOUR OWN car!” they say. “Get your SIDE HUSTLE ON.” they boast. Über/Lyft: NO ONE is EXCITED to have to take on MORE work. “Get your side hustle on” is basically saying “Hey you poor fuck, you thought 8 hrs/day was enough? KEEP WORKING.” There’s also wear/tear, gas, oil changes…myriad things.

Being considerate, on the road, is easy. If you obey signs and lights, for the MOST part drive the speed limit give or take ~5 mph, everything will run smoothly.

There are MANY inconsiderate assholes on the road. I’ve made it partly a personal progression to SHAME the FUCK out of them. Whether I’m slowing down to FORCE a speed-demon to slow down, or yelling out my window at the opposing driver, whom has just cut me off or nearly killed some pedestrians.

Today was such a day, THREE times! First was this asshole in a Hyundai (didn’t get the plate but I’ll start posting those when I can). This fuckface was in the right-hand lane, which accrues cars parked at meters, cause it’s near some health buildings. He sped up to PASS ME ON THE RIGHT, and I sped up too. He was DETERMINED to pass me to, what, save time? Impress his girl? If you’re thinking with your dick, you’re never driving stick.

This asshole and I ended up NEXT to each other, after I saw pedestrians who were nearly flattened, sarcastically wave them through as if to say “Nooooo, YOU go ahead. Clearly our lives aren’t important, and that RED LIGHT ahead isn’t going to STOP at ITSELF!” Fucking dumbass driver. So we’re next to each other. I hold up a PRONOUNCED thumbs up and then he rolled down his window.

“You need to SLOW the FUCK DOWN. You got to this stop light SO FAST, and almost KILLED those people back there!”

“Yeah, well you–”

“You need to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN while you’re DRIVING! You need to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!”

“I’m sorry,” his girl said.

She got him to stop arguing with me because she knew I was right. Deep down I think he did, too.

When we’re called out on our BULLSHIT, we humans get defensive AF. No one seeks out opportunities to be wrong, but sometimes our ways of going about the world are markedly wrong.

WHAT if he’d KILLED those people with his car? “Multiple Manslaughter, but AT LEAST I WAS FAST!!” Fucking IDIOT.

Car 2 was driving awfully fast behind me and another car with whom I was tied for speed. We were keeping our speed at/below the speed limit, while this asshole in a Mini Cooper decides he wants to FLOOR IT through traffic. The thing was, we were headed to a full stop. Both lanes, rush hour traffic, asshole speeding behind. I fervently let him know that “WE’RE STOPPING!” Windows weren’t down so scoldings weren’t found. He still had to STOP, though, just like the rest of us.

There’s a sense of entitlement that comes with driving. A sense of PURPOSE, even. Most feel it is their prerogative to “GET THERE AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE,” and “NOT LET ANYTHING GET IN THE WAY.” This is dangerous thinking, to say the least.

If we are considerate to EVERYONE on the road/in the road/near the road, imagine how quickly car accidents would drop. Traffic would be more bearable. COPS would have ZERO drivers to worry about. People would be nicer and more chill.

A third car SPED UP to STOP QUICKLY because of traffic. He motioned like he wanted over in front of me. I refused. “Slow, the fuck, down” I said. His windows were up. Nissan Rogue. He TRUDGED ahead to pass the car IN FRONT of me, then got over into a turn lane to STOP AND WAIT.

GOOD JOB 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻. You got to that stop SO FAST! Would you like a TROPHY with YOUR CAR on top?!

Everyone being in such a god-damned fucking HURRY, is most likely an effect of a larger issue: attention spans and TMs (the toxically masculine). I won’t drone on about TMs, cause I already did that in a previous post. I’d say a good 65% of the time, though, the asshole driver who’s NOT using a turn signal or CUTTING people off is a guy. “IF MY MANHOOD IS BEING CHALLENGED ON THE ROAD I ONLY HAVE ONE RECOURSE!” thought the inconsiderate idiot.

If you’re “worried” that “people are getting too soft” or that “your manhood is being challenged”, you’re an oaf. You’re dumb. The mere fact that anyone could or would have that thought is logically laughable. Humanity is evolving and our minds/hearts need to evolve with it.

Logic and reason play an important part in society, because we need them to survive.

So rev up that engine, crank up the radio 🐑, and be DANGEROUS CAUSE IT’S COOL!!

Psych.

Consider being considerate. Maybe fewer people will die on the road. Just a thought.

Sincerely,

Doug

Venmo: Doug-Culp

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