wAIt

Hey everyone, it’s been more than a few days since I posted last. I wanna talk about AI aka Artificial Intelligence aka the thing I’m letting my phone do while using predictive text and word-guessing to be able to more efficiently communicate.

Our ability to fast track our lives has been made easier too. “Okay Google, make a fart noise.” “Alexa, play the burp from Elf.” “Hey Siri, go fuck yourself.”

“I’m not sure how to help you with ‘Go fuck myself'”.

“I’m not sure I understood that.”

AI is smart, and it’s only gonna get smarter. It’s already made most of us into WALL-E lite. Most of us have our whole lives at our fingertips  and ha e our phone in our hands at all times. I, myself, am re-watching Breaking Bad #ReBreakingBad, while writing this. Picture-in-picture is SO awesome. It’s also an attention puller. Technology is accommodating for us instead of us building technology to do what we need.

AI is going to make it into those robotic animals with the unstoppable balance from Boston Dynamics. It’s only a matter of time, too, before America adopts the “people-rating” bullshit from Black Mirror, that China’s already implemented.

This shit with these “Incels” is fucked up. Their solution to their lack of sex is sex robots.

Check it out. Sex robots are a thing. People are going to buy them. They’ll be full of AI, reassuring fucked up behaviors, giving ideas, and maybe even becoming sentient & demanding our subservience.

Terminator. I, Robot. T2: Judgment Day. T3: Rise of the Machines. Terminator Salvation. Terminator Genisys, Terminatir: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, others.

Weve made so many movies about AI taking over and becoming too smart to need humans anymore.

The app for McDonald’s, where it’s like “You don’t have to talk to anyone. Pick it up whenever you arrive.” Impatience. This wi see a rise of a new type of asshole (which we’ve seen more and more of in these last few yrs) who believe they’re entitled to everything RIGHT NOW since the technology exists.

Patience is already gone with people not being able to sit through the damn fucking credits of anything! Some fucking stupid-ass next to me left Infinity War while saying “Looks like there’s not gonna be anything.” Guess what, motherfucker. There WAS! There’s even an app to let you know if whichever movie you’re seeing has a scene after the credits! Great! Increase the impatience!

How about people who can’t wait through the intro? Breaking Bad intro is like 10 seconds, there’s still an option to skip it! The True Blood intro, Dexter, I get it. Long intros on a binge…there’s another symptom of impatience. “I gotta binge it all right now!!”

I’ve done it. I do it. Stranger Things? Black Mirror? Breaking Bad was one of the FIRST shows I binged, and that was before it made it to Netflix! Let’s say it was on a Tivo.

Listen, some of you won’t have made it this far in this blog post without having checked your phone for other notifications, checked the time, or maybe you didn’t even make it this far down!

Sometimes I feel like my phone is loading on a 56k modem. Depending on the area  depending on wifi  depending on many things. There’s a phone plan called Project Fi. I had it for a bit. It’s contingent on wifi hotspots all over the city. Pay per GB of data upfront, and get a return on what you didn’t use. Sometimes, when you’re at a Starbucks or somewhere, the phone will go into wifi automatically. FREE HOTSPOTS! That’s the thing though. How fast is their wifi? How many people are on it? How often are you out and about to places with hotspots? I ended up paying over almost every month, because our phones are always running.

Apps run and collect data in the background, at all times. Auto-update on apps. Tinder, happn, Bumble, Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow, Pot Farm: Grass Roots, Feeld, there Re so many! Data-saver mode helps with that a little, but not enough. I switched to an unlimited everything plan. I’m barely able to afford it, but it’s much better than being “data scared” especially since I’m now near wifi, only sometimes, as I’m sleeping in my car most nights.

I smoked some resin earlier. I’m gonna smoke some more. I’m out of green, so I’ll smoke the leftovers. It still works. About to go to bed, too.

Dont let AI be in complete control of everything you do. Don’t ha e your eyes glued to your GPS while you’re driving. Do keep a journal (physical or digital). Do read. Hang out with friends and talk in person. Smoke weed. Listen to albums from beginning to end (shuffle will kill your attention span if it hasn’t already). Give the radio a break. Fuck radio.

Bye.

Venmo: Doug-Culp

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