Existential Bread

Boredom brings me here. I hope it finds you well. Well-off, well water, oh well whatever.

Our technology has brought us to an interesting point in our evolution. We’re more aware of more than we’ve ever been aware. Our computer phones (a la Bradley Whitford in The Good Guys) are compelling our lives forward.

We are more connected than ever but also more entitled and bridled than ever.

Think about the last time your phone died. Were you bummed? Were you elated? Were you a check, post-dated? What’s a check? What’s a balance? We’re more checked than Jack Palance.

The Impossibleā„¢ Whopper is great, global warming’s thru the grate, the world is full of hate, and nobody wants to wait.

Okay, so why am I even writing this stumbly bumbly post? I dunno, to pass the time, to express myself in rhyme, to hope anyone sees this and thinks it’s fine.

I’m still here. I’m still creating, even though this burger job is grating my will to push forward.

I’m polyamorous aka non-monogamous, which is pretty awesome. There’s no sense of jealousy, just love, and I haven’t been with a ton of people either. Just kinda floating above. Doesn’t help that I’m sick and poor and living with my parents. Lots of adults are living with their parents these days. Now that I’ve lived in a state where there’s legal weed, delivered legal weed, and smoked/consumed a ton of legal weed, every place that still doesn’t get it seems very small-minded. Like the governments have tiny baby brains, indoctrinated by previous government leaders who started “the drug war” for self-righteous reasons. Well the world has kept spinning and it’s been many seasons. If cannabis isn’t federally legalized/decriminalized soon these conservative states will be fill with reprobates. (I hope some of you had to look up “reprobates” like I just did to be sure I was using it correctly)

I wanna watch The Mandalorian. I once briefly dated a hot librarian. I don’t resist to be contrarian, but I do Dew it to cause it’s how I’ve felt for a very long time. Resist the Borg telling you exactly everything you need to do. Resist the urge to go see every single movie that comes out and to subscribe to every streaming service, only to throw your money into that pit, not knowing if what your doing is legit. Will you ever see all of it? Get the free trial and then cancel that shit.

Oh yeah, capitalism is still crumbling. It’s slowing to a crawl. People have less and less “extra” money to spend, hoping all our fears will upend.

I wanna try and be self-sustaining, meaning a tiny home mobile studio (like from http://www.gofundme.com/HealsDougInn) with solar panels on the roof, driving it around, parking wherever people will let me, public lands, stay aloof. But also staying alive, hoping to thrive.

While I was staying with my uncle I had a dream which I then wrote into a TV pilot in a day. No one cares…yet.

Part of this post is to show you the most of what I’ve been able to do with a little view, to eschew from the queue. Wouldn’t you?

I’ve got a restaurant idea which is so crazy that it certainly will work.

Ive got those pilots I’ve written, lyrics I’ve spitten, relationships smitten, teeth I have gritten, Connie Britton.

I hope I get booked on some comedy shows. Utah has a monolith controlling their few venues and it’s weird. It’s like if The Comedy Store was the only venue ever in L.A. for comedy. It’s a fun place, but it doesn’t need to be the only place.

Oh yeah that reminds me, the owners of this burger joint have an open invitation for employees to throw events on days they’re closed, and one of those happens weekly here. I’ve just gotta get my ass in heat and bring Duplex Comedy Suplex back to life, maybe in this dining area.

Okay this has gotten long. Mr. Robot is dope. The Good Place still knockin’, The Mountain Goats still rockin’, Adidas Sambas still sockin’.


Hire me to:

Write. Comede. Film. Edit. Draw. Music. Social media. Eat. Toke. Repeat. Joke.

You And Me And Thoughts And Talk with Doug Culp (my podcast)

Really Glad You Came (my music)

My threadless store (some of my art)


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